Let’s put all the compulsions, fears, bad habits, and personal crap we’ve never dealt with aside, and let’s get real.
Are you honest with yourself?
Even better, let’s ask,
“Am I being the person I want to be?”
Am I making the kinds of decisions that I’m proud of? Am I spending my days acting and living by who I desire to be?
It’s easy in life to just get towed along. By the universe, by fortune, by our capabilities and responsibilities. Or, worse, by our pain or cravings or fears. All of us have to stop from time to time and ask ourselves the question sitting right in front of us every day, whether we see it or acknowledge it: am I the person I want to be?
Life is fast, and it moves at lightning speed. You have a job and a family and responsibilities that keep coming at you. You show up. You do the work. You take care of those you love. You do your duty where your duty calls for it. And, when there is time, you have some fun.
But, all the while, it’s easy to get lost in survival mode. Or, more like being-drug-by-your-neck mode through life, from one thing to another.
So, again, I ask: are you the person you want to be?
What Are You Waiting For
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
— Marcus Aurelius
I remember when I was younger, always saying something like, “well, when I _____, I’ll start _______.” It was always starting a new habit or ending a bad habit when something positive that I wanted in life happened. It’s as if I was bargaining with the universe or God or the cosmos. A little game of you give me what I want, and then I guess I’ll come around on this thing.
Many people are consistently playing a game with their future. You’re setting the rules on when you will become the version of yourself you desire. The version you want to be, know you can be and could be right now if you just did it. Instead, you wait. You delay. You procrastinate on becoming who you want to become.
Does it work that way? Do you have a better chance of becoming the person you want to be when you have more money? Get that promotion? Achieve that dream? Start driving a luxury car, live in a specific neighborhood, or become part of a club?
Planning on when to be the person you want to be is just a waste of time. It’s not like planning your retirement. You don’t determine what kind of person you want to become; then, if things fall the right way and the market rises in your favor, you become who you want to become.
Just be it. Stop wasting time. Stop planning. Stop negotiating. Just decide to be the person you want to be — and be it!
Goals vs. Who
Goals aside, what kind of person do you want to be?
What kind of health do you want? Are you making the decisions that create this person?
What kind of work do you want to do? Are you doing it?
What kind of spouse or parent or friend do you desire to be? Are you making the decisions and taking the actions to become that?
If you are pursuing this person, in which you have a vision of becoming, consistently through your actions, this will bring far more impact to your life than one or ten goals.
The person you want to be can’t be bought or promoted or sign a book deal, or be obtained by a specific revenue mark. Nope. It’s in your actions. It’s in your habits. It’s in your daily routine and the things you focus your time and energy on.
That’s how you become who you want to be.
Choose Who You Want To Be
The self-improvement world is great. It represents a place where one can get better, grow, and become more with their lives. There’s a healthy environment full of ideas, concepts, and theories from a place of generosity and legitimately desire to help.
But are you spending too much time asking and studying? And not enough time just doing?
If you are going to do the work, take the time to become a better version of yourself, then you have to take action to become that person.
Don’t think about it. Stop negotiating the timetable on when you will become this person. Decide who it is you want to become and become that person through your actions.
Nothing will play a larger role in becoming the person you desire to be more than taking the right action towards the right path.